July 2014, Deborah Harkness? As Amy Poehler would say, “Really?!?”

For those of you wondering (rightfully) what I’m ranting about, I’m referring to the recently announced publication date for the third book in the “All Souls” trilogy by Deborah Harkness. According to the author’s website, it will be published in July 2014 and titled “The Book of Life.” (Not to be confused with the Bible. Or the Game of Life.)

Anyway, I blame my friend Angie for my current obsession with this book. I was going along my merry way, never having heard of “A Discovery of Witches.” And even after she told me, and I waited the requisite three months on the library waiting list, I actually didn’t even get around to reading “ADOW,” as it is known among aficionados, before my loan period was up and I had to return it. Feeling guilty for not checking out the book my friend had recommended, I requested it again, waited again and actually had time to read it the next time my number came up.

And boy oh boy, am I glad I did. It was a slow boil for me. I spent the first 50 pages (at least) saying “What the heck did Angie see in this?” And then something shifted, and suddenly I couldn’t put this book down. It’s like the unholy love child of “Twilight” and “50 Shades” and I just could not stop reading. (Side note: “50 Shades” is one book I did stop reading. And it wasn’t because I was all offended or anything. It was just really, REALLY badly written. And I just cannot abide that.)

Historian (and reluctant witch) Diana Bishop stumbles upon an enchanted tome while conducting her research at Oxford University. She also stumbles upon vampire — and scientist — Matthew Clairmont. The rest, as they say, is history. Except when it’s future. Or past-present. Or whatever. Time traveling ensues, and it all gets a little fuzzy. Anyway…

So now I’m anxiously awaiting the third book. I’m sure I’ll find plenty to amuse myself with in the meantime, but still. It’s the principle of the thing. Two years between books? Who are you, George R.R. Martin? (Speaking of which… tick tock, Mr. Martin. Let’s get this show on the road.) At any rate, I’d definitely recommend the first two books, particularly if you happen to be a 30-something woman with a predilection for vampire tales. Although, if you’re an instant-gratification kind of gal, you may want to wait until, say, June 2014 to start reading.

Next chapter: Write a strongly worded letter to Ms. Harkness?

Bibliography: Moving back to familiar light-hearted territory with Jen Lancaster’s latest, “The Tao of Martha.”

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